Thursday, November 8, 2012

Looking For Healing (in all the wrong places?)

Nov. 7, 2012

Over the last two and a half years, I’ve prayed for healing.  I’ve prayed for it like I never have before.  It’s a prayer that honestly, at this point, feels discouraging.  Yet, I pray.  I pray because I need that connection to God.  I pray because I recognize He is the one in control, especially when I feel like I have absolutely no control in this at all.  I pray because I know so many other people are praying and it motivates me to continue.  I pray because I am instructed to (“Is anyone among you suffering?  Then he must pray.” James 4:13).  Actually, it is really a command to pray.  So, I pray.
I’ve not seen healing.  Kelsey still struggles.  It’s so hard.  There have been times during this time (I hate to call it a “season” as so many people do because, to me, it romanticizes it.  It tries to make it seem better than what it is.) that I have felt spiritually strong, emotionally strong, spiritually weak, and emotionally weak.  I’ve also had my times of anger.  Now is one of those times.  I HATE that this is happening.  I find no rhyme or reason to it.  It feels so senseless.  And these things fuel an anger in me that makes me want to pound something – a lot.
So, to battle it I try so hard to stay more cognitive and less emotion-focused.  Yes, that is the counselor in me.  Plus, I don’t have a punching bag anymore and my ankles can’t handle kickboxing anymore either.  In my effort to stay cognitive, I’ve wondered in times such as these if healing can occur that is something other than the physical healing I’ve been praying for.  If so, what does that healing look like?  Would I or can I be satisfied with that?
My first response to it is to recoil because I hate the idea that God causes things to happen so that we can learn from them.  I just don’t believe He works that way.  The Bible clearly says that God is not the author of chaos.  Certainly He allows consequences from our actions to discipline us but I simply cannot believe that He brings calamity just so I can have a learning opportunity.  I absolutely think, though, that it is our job to learn from all situations.  The greater tragedy would be to learn nothing at all.
My next response comes from Sharon.  When I posed the healing question to her, without hesitation, she said, “yes.”  Six weeks ago, she and her husband Ralph were in a severe and traumatic car crash.  As Ralph continues to recover from his traumatic brain injury, he has changed.  No longer burdened by work stress and with a newfound recognition of the fragility of life, she explained, he is back to “the man I fell in love with.  That is a sort of healing.”
I’m left wondering, if I am to be totally truthful, if I am just searching for some way in which my prayers have been answered in an effort to abate my anger.  I just don’t know.  I understand the point of Sharon’s response.  I had an idea of my answer when I asked her and we agree.  Maybe the healing I see so far is a deepening of my faith.  Never until now did I have to confidence in my faith to express my anger to God.  Never until now did I have the unwavering confidence that God is still with me even when I feel alone.  That is all well and good and I am glad that I can honestly profess these things.  But, if I am being that honest, then I have to admit that I am not satisfied with that healing.  Plus, with that answer, healing becomes about me and not about Kelsey.  So then I am back to square one with my prayers being unanswered … for now.

1 comment:

  1. This is very powerful, very raw and honest. It does take strength to profess these feelings and knowing you as I do, I know this was difficult. I admire your honesty so much.

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