Three Strands, One Lesson

April 25, 2013

Once again, God has taught me something new this week first by giving me the information and then by letting me experience it.  It is a three part lesson that involves a TV clip, a moment of communion, and affirmation.

Earlier this week, I heard something on TV that totally stuck with me: The AHA! moment happens when spirit is talking to spirit in truth.  Those light bulb moments when you really, truly get it in a way that you never have before is when the spirit of truth from someone else is speaking to my spirit.

Wednesday night, at the very end of Bible study class, one of the ladies shared a struggle she has had over the last year with someone near and dear to her.  He is experiencing anger with God for certain situations in his life.  He fights himself every week, bad mood and all, to come to church but then is always happy he came by the time he leaves.

I knew I wanted to talk to her after class but I wasn’t sure what to say to her.  As I sat across from her, the words of encouragement and claiming victory over Satan’s attacks flowed.  I remember looking straight into her eyes and hers connected with mine and the thought that “our eyes are the window to our souls” crossed my mind.  I felt a deep connection and I think she did, too.  In reflecting on that moment in addition to what I had learned earlier in the week about the AHA moment, I see now that the deep connection I felt was our spirits connecting.  Our spirits communed in that moment.

I remember at the end of the conversation she said, “Wow, tonight I got two lessons.  One during class and one after.”  My thought, “Something just happened here.”

I struggle a lot with telling stories like this because I am scared they sound boastful.  I feel like I’m bragging that I’m something special that God uses me in this way, both professionally and personally.  But, as another one near and dear to me today said, “God works in this world but He uses people to do that work.  God used you today.”  So, I am going to claim it.  Not because I am great but because I know God uses the smallest, the least, to do His work.  That’s how I know all the glory belongs to Him.

Kind of Like David

April 17, 2013

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been studying about anointing with my Bible study group.  So, it’s been on my mind.  I have learned a lot.  I’ve always had a bad connotation about anointing because it seemed overused and even improperly used.  But, I’m learning.

Priscilla Shirer, in her book, “Anointed Transformed Redeemed,” defined anointing as “a divine enablement to accomplish a divine task or a supernatural empowering to accomplish supernatural goals.”  I get this definition when I think about David and how he was anointed to be king and how, under that anointing, he was able to kill lions and bears and Goliath, not to mention his warrior skills.  But, even with being anointed, he had to go through training.  He was kept in service to his father being a shepherd, to Saul being a musician and armor bearer, and to his brothers serving them while they were at the battle front.  1 Chron. 14:2 says that God established David as king over Israel.  He specifically selected him and established him.  He chose him and then gave him what he needed to do the job.

But how does that apply to me?  That was the question in my mind this past week.  And it was answered in a most unexpected way.  I was the recipient of a letter of appreciation for being impactful in someone’s life.  As she recounted the ways I’d helped her, I sat there remembering those moments.  They stood out equally for me not because I understood the impact they were having but because it was moments I knew I was following God’s leading.  One moment in particular stands out when, through her deep emotion, I spoke the words, “You are loved.  You are beautiful.  You are loveable.”  I remember feeling slightly awkward in saying those words not because I felt they were untrue.  Rather, it felt more like someone else’s words.

At the risk of sounding horribly arrogant, I see now that my ability is all an anointing to do God’s work.  Much like David, I have had many years of training (although mine are half as many as his) but ultimately, I need God’s anointing and establishing for it all to work.

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time….After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.  To Him be dominion forever and ever.  Amen.”

                                          ~ 1 Peter 5:6, 10-11

 

Perfecting the Imperfect

April 9, 2013

I used to be a lot more perfectionistic than I am today.  There is one area where I still struggle though: my craft, whatever craft that may be.  I’ve painted over 650 flower pots but I don’t have one for myself.  I’ve painted Keds shoes and lampshades and didn’t keep a one for me.  I don’t keep them because when I look at whatever it is I’ve done, all I see are the flaws.  It robs my joy and satisfaction in the project.

I’m getting better though.  I’ve painted lettering (Bible verses, songs, class rules, etc.) in several places including two places of my own (my bathroom at home and my office).  I’ve even kept one of my own lace painted platters.  My latest project, a platter, is one I really struggled with, though.  It was difficult right from the start.  The wood just would not absorb the stain evenly.  I think I stained it about six or seven times.  Once I got the pattern transferred, I started painting the major lines and found that my brush was too worn down to give a consistent line.  Being impatient, I didn’t want to wait to order another brush (plus these silly brushes are $30!) so I pushed through and made it work.  But my perfectionistic eye only saw the inconsistencies.  I thought heavily about throwing it away.  It sat for about two weeks while I thought about it.  Because of all the staining and struggling with the brush, I had already put in a lot more hours then I normally would have.  So, I decided to continue on in the hopes that the layering of the strokes would help it.

In the midst of all this, I had a conversation with a coworker about perfectionism.  I suggested to her that the ability to reflect on our mistakes and learn from them can be hindered by perfectionism.  In order to learn from mistakes and failures, you must be able to take off the mask of perfectionism that says to everyone on the outside that I am unflawed, perfect, or even simply okay.  Perfectionists tend to learn their lessons by being very hard and unforgiving of themselves.  To learn the lessons, you must have compassion for self; otherwise, you can’t get past the self-condemnation to see the lesson to be learned.

The platter turned out good.  In fact, it is much better than I anticipated.  My perfectionism robbed me of the joy I usually feel when I paint.  In an effort to learn my lesson better, I decided to put the platter in my office for a few days until I ship it off to the ones I made it for.  I want to look at it and appreciate it for what it is and learn to not pick it apart for its flaws.
 

It turned out to be an object lesson … for me.  I was discussing perfectionism with someone.  Yes, I see the irony here but I also see once again how a theme has run for a week or more for me and how God uses it to teach me.  Anyway, she struggles with perfectionism and ideas of not being good enough.  I handed her the platter not telling her I painted it and asked her what she thought.  She looked at it and said it was beautiful.  “Does it have flaws?” I asked.  She looked it at closer, “Well some of the lines are uneven.”  A small scream sounded in my head.  She continued, “But those lines prove that this is hand painted and not made by some computer that can vector out any line perfectly.  Those lines give it character.”  I just looked at her, probably with a dumbfounded expression.  She looked up and at me and said, “I get it.”

Me too.