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Friday, June 15, 2012

Patience Starts with Pee

Audra:  “I haven’t written my blog yet this week.”

Kelsey:  “Why not?” 

Audra:  “Can’t decide what to write on.” 

Kelsey: “You should write on patience.” 

Audra:  “I’m not too good at patience.”  (thinking it would be a really short blog)  “What are you impatient for?”

Kelsey:  “Everything.  For camp to get here.  For the cruise to get here.  For a diagnosis.  For pain medicine.  For treatment.” 

This conversation happened when I got home from work late Thursday night around 9:00.  I found Kelsey lying in her bed just listening to music and texting.  She was hurting.  I know it sounds awful to hear this at first because it means she is either in a low place or in a hurting place, but I’ve come to love finding her in her bed.  I crawl in bed beside her, snuggle with her, and we talk.  I never really did this before she got sick.  I tear up at the thought of how many times I’ve missed doing this before she got sick.  I missed opportunities because I took them for granted.  But I am so thankful to have them now.  It’s one of the blessings in all of this. 

I am impatient too.  I am impatient for all the same things Kelsey is.  And I am impatient to hear from God.  Don’t get me wrong, I hear Him often every day.  I feel His leading, I see His good works, I see the things He puts before me, I hear Him in my head in sometimes just a word and other times a whole idea.  But in the area where I most want to hear Him, in health matters concerning Kelsey and in the dreaded question that often looms largely over my head and heart (Do we move or not?), I am not hearing Him.  If I somehow got a message from God that we need to go with this doctor or that, or if I got a sign that we are on the right track and just need to stay the course, or if I got some insight or a bit of wisdom that would somehow lead us to a diagnosis, I would feel so much better! 

How long do we have to wait?  Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.”  Why can’t it say, “Be still for one week and know that I am God.”?  How long must we be still?  In my counseling, I teach people all the time that in arguments, it is best to take a break when things get overly emotional, especially when anger is involved.  Remove yourself from the situation, go away and pray and cool off, and then come back to hopefully find a resolution when cooler heads prevail.  It’s ok to say, “I need to take a walk and cool off.”  It is vitally important, though, to include what I call the “back end promise” of “I’ll be back in 15 minutes.”  With that promise of time, the other person will know that this conflict will not go unresolved.  It won’t be swept under the rug.  It won’t be ignored. 

I miss the back end promise in Ps. 46:10.  I know that God sees me.  I know that He loves me.  I know that He is ever with me.  I understand that that is the promise.  But I am human and I want a timeframe.  And so I wait.  Patience feels forced upon me.  I have no other choice. 

So while I sit and wait and be patient, I take the opportunities given to me to lay with Kelsey in her small little twin bed.  Sometimes, we are discovered by others.  Sophie usually bounces all around us looking for her spot to lay or sit.  Or Tim will try to squeeze in somewhere, which then leaves Aron to lie on top.  I’m not kidding.  I love those times with Kelsey, not only because we get closer in them but we usually end up laughing. 

Audra: “Kelsey, you have to get up so I can get out.  I have to pee.” 

Kelsey: “OK.”  She starts to get up and then moves to sit square in the middle of my bladder.  Laughing so hard that her laughter is actually silent, she moves and bounces on me again. 

A golden moment while being patient.

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