Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Holding Hands and Singing

July 26, 2015

Lettia, Sam, Kelsey, and I went to see Matt Redman in concert Sunday night.  I knew it would be a good concert but it exceeded my expectations.  If you get a chance to see him, it’s definitely worth it!  The last song of the night was “10,000 Reasons.”  It’s a song full of memories for me.  It is a favorite song of mine and I just love singing it in church and at camp with the youth group.  Our ladies Bible group also sang it often with Lisa.  It was one of her favorites, too.  She’s been with our Lord and Savior for over a year now. 

I took her once to get her lung drained and she told me afterwards that the nurse who was doing the procedure was humming “10,000 Reasons” while she was prepping her.  Lisa started singing the words with her and the nurse stopped what she was doing and they both just sang the song together.  I remember thinking, “Only Lisa could find a way to make a lung drain a worshipful time.”

So now I can’t seem to make it through the song without tears streaming down my face.  Lisa is all over this song.  She praised God every step of the way in her life.  She praised him through her illness.  And she is praising him now “for 10,000 years and then forevermore.”  At the end of the song at the concert, I looked over at Lettia who, with tears in her eyes, said, “She was here tonight.”  I replied, “Yes she is … just on the other side of the cross.”

It’s a beautiful picture to me to envision the connection we share with those in heaven.  Worship is a spiritual time.  My spirit connects with God.  Those who are in heaven worship God all the time.  So, when we are worshiping, we are holding spiritual hands with those in heaven.  Don’t get me wrong, I still so long to have Lisa here with me but I am comforted in knowing that there are times when we are still holding hands and singing “10,000 Reasons.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtwIT8JjddM


Saturday, April 4, 2015

Humbly Accepting

April 4, 2015

During this Easter weekend, I have seen so much about the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior.  I’ve read the description of how he died, how grateful people are for the sacrifice, how it is impossible to truly wrap our brains around the gift given, and how we are so unworthy of it.  I’m good with hearing all those things…..except the last one.

Are we unworthy of such a gift, of such love?  If we base worthiness on behavior or on sin-free living, then yes, we are unworthy.  Of course, to compare ourselves to such an impossible standard, we will always come out on the unworthy side.  Are we worthy of such a gift, of such love?  YES!  Because God says so!

Any loving parent would tell you they would readily give their lives for their children.  Why?  Because that is my child and he is worth dying for.  Does God feel any differently?  Of course not!  Do I really need to cite the Bible verses that say so?  We all know them.  But when I hear talk of “I am not worthy” of such a gift, I wonder if those people truly know those words which God spoke with them in mind.  God said we are worth it.  God said it and I believe.  To deny that lessens the gift.  To say that I am unworthy is to put my opinion above God’s. 

This Easter, let’s stop saying that we are unworthy of the sacrifice Jesus made.  I, for one, am happy and beyond thankful to humbly accept a priceless gift.  I accept it because I am worthy.  I am worthy because God says so.

And now, for your listening enjoyment is MercyMe’s newest single “Flawless.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ7EyPTOltw


Sunday, February 15, 2015

I Know Where I'm Going

Feb. 15, 2015

Aron was about 7 or 8 years old when he smarted off to Tim at the dinner table one night.  Tim jumped up, grabbed him by the arm to march Aron off to his room.  Aron jerked his arm out of Tim’s hand and defiantly said, “I know where I’m going!”  I vaguely remember thinking, “Ohhhh Lordy….” And I probably chuckled a little inside too.  Today, Tim and I both laugh a lot about this story.

It’s a story that is told often, even at last night’s Valentine’s dinner party.  It’s a story that has come up a lot for me in the last six weeks.  Almost 2 years ago, I sat with two dear ladies and explained to them that I felt God calling me to be President of Christian Counselors of Texas.  I didn't want to do it.  So much so, I cried when telling them about it.  The decision was made and I was installed as President-Elect last February knowing that I would have two years to learn the job of President.  Those two years were reduced to about 10 months when the current President had to resign due to health problems.  Aron’s voice rang through my head, “I know where I’m going!”

Several weeks ago, I felt a different calling from God.  I was to draw a Bible verse for someone who lives in my neighborhood, someone I don’t even know but I knew the verse had meaning to her.  So I drew it.  And then I waited.  It took a couple of weeks before I got up the nerve to give it to her.  I didn't want to look like some weird creeper.  Still trying to figure out some way around God’s command, I called a neighbor who knows this woman better than I do and asked if he would give it to her for me.  He said he would but that she would probably be fine with me coming to her door.  “Just look for her car in the driveway,” he said.  So I thought, “Ok, I’ll walk down there and maybe she won’t be home and I can just leave it with the other neighbor to pass on.”  But, of course, her car was there in the driveway.  Walking down the sidewalk I remember thinking, “Great.  I know where I’m going.”

As with all things “God,” both of these things have worked out.  Stepping up in leadership has been a true growing point for me.  I am working with a fantastic group of people who make my job so much better.  My gift to my neighbor was well received.  Since God was at the helm for that one, I can only assume that it was meaningful for her too.

Just as Aron was a bit defiant that night in his obedience, I too have been a bit defiant yet obedient.  Doing these things were certainly not at the top of my “want to do” list.  But doing these things certainly put God at the top of my list.


As I study this verse more just now, I see that defiant obedience is a far cry from walking humbly with God.  It is time to drop the “defiant” part.  Humble obedience is one more step in my walk.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

He Sees, He Knows, He Comforts

Jan. 25, 2015

This morning I went to church by myself.  Kelsey is reacting strongly to the new medication and has been pretty sick the last couple of days.  Even though she is 18 years old, one of us still stays home with her when she isn’t feeling up to going to church.  It isn’t that she can’t be by herself.  We just know how much Kelsey likes to go to church and it seems cold and heartless for both of us to walk out the door essentially saying by our leaving, “See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya!”  For us to leave and go where she really wants to go but yet she can’t, just seems cruel.  Honestly, I’ve never talked to her about this and I doubt she would really feel that way or receive it that way but it is how I feel in that moment.

Going to church by myself has always been difficult.  I’m certainly not alone once I get there.  But somehow my family going to church together serves as sort of a litmus test of how we are doing.  If we all go, all things are well in the world.  If one of us is missing, there is an empty space that is felt.  And, if just one of us goes, well, it’s a difficult time.  As I was driving to church, I was thinking, “I’d give anything to take this illness from Kelsey.”  Then my counselor training kicked in and I thought, “Really?  Anything?”  You have to test the extreme and exaggerating words.  My answer was, “No, not anything.  I wouldn’t give up my soul.”  Trading my long-termed soul for a short-termed illness makes no sense.  This life is short compared to eternity.

In church, I was emotional because my litmus test was failing.  But, just as God would have it (because I don’t believe in coincidences), Russ preached exactly what I needed to hear this morning.  The sermon text was Luke 9:57-10:3.  In part of it, he talked about how we have to love God more than anyone and anything.  He said, “I can’t imagine my life without my son.  But I know I can’t survive without God.”  God has to be first.  We have to make decisions based on knowing we have an eternal life to think about and not just this short life on earth.


As I cried my way through church, I began to realize the different emotions I was having.  The first, of course, being what I’ve already discussed.  But I also realized I was feeling comfort.  I was feeling the comfort of being in God’s ever-loving, ever-present arms.  I know He sees me and my family.  I know He knows my pain.  And He knows just how to comfort me.  El Roi (“The God who sees”) remains my favorite name for God.