Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover

Dec. 31, 2014

This past Monday Kelsey and I traveled to Houston for a second opinion doctor’s appointment.  Of course, at just that time, there was a massive fire in an abandoned building just four buildings down from the doctor’s office.  Yes, that part of town was a bit dicey.  We managed to detour around it and come around from the other direction to get to the appointment just 15 minutes late.  As I was sitting in the waiting room, I had an uneasy feeling because, well, I should just say the waiting room fit in with that part of town.  I kept telling myself, “Don’t judge a book by its cover” over and over again.

After meeting the doctor for just 3-4 minutes, Kelsey had already decided she loved her.  By the time we left an hour later, I cautiously liked her too.  I am skeptical of most doctors now until they really prove themselves to me.

As I was driving today, I was thinking about this appointment and how it is generally good advice to “not judge a book by its cover.”  And then, I was reminded of the book I am currently reading: “Vanishing Grace” by Philip Yancey.  It is largely about how non-Christians see Christians in a harsh light because of judgmental and intolerant attitudes.  In other words, they see little grace from those who have received it in abundance.  It occurred to me that we Christians are the cover to the Bible.  We are the first impression of the Bible to those “uncommitted and post-Christian people,” as Yancey calls them.

It begs questions such as “Do my actions echo my beliefs?”  “Does my attitude reveal the Word of God held within me?”  “Do I reflect the image of Christ?”  “Does the Good News look good in me?”  It saddens to me know that so many, an overwhelming majority, have a negative view of Christians.  They miss the message of the Bible because they don’t get past the cover.  The more I think about this today, the more I am convinced that my Bible isn’t covered with nice soft goatskin leather and a sewn binding.  It is covered by every Christian and bound with love for our Almighty Father.  I think that is true for every Bible.

Not My Dream But Thine

Oct. 25, 2014

We went to a Casting Crowns, Mandisa, and Sidewalk Prophets concert tonight.  It was fantastic!  I heard a song I never heard before and it really spoke to me.

Once or twice before I have written that I've been struggling with feeling like Jonah not wanting to go to Nineveh.  This pertained to two different things, one being the president of Christian Counselors of Texas and the other one being what I will call my “Nineveh.”  I don’t feel a need to go into details about it because that is really not the point.

This is something that I never really pictured myself doing and I really don’t have an ambition for it.  Although, I can see some positives in it.  After over a year of struggling with yet, essentially telling God “no,” I then came to a place of “Okay God, if this is what you want, then build the fire in me to want to do it.”  In other words, I agreed begrudgingly.

But a few weeks ago, I came to a place of surrender that said, “If this is what You want me to do, then I will do it and be glad in it.”  I was okay with it.  I came to a place of surrender which also revealed to me a place of gratitude. 

“But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you.  What I have vowed I will make good.”
~~Jonah 2:9

Then, something surprising happened.  I think another door has opened.  Another path has come into sight that doesn't lead to Nineveh.  I've thought a lot about this and, of course, talked to Tim and asked, “Do you think this was just a test to see if I would surrender to His will?”  I think so.  And, once I did surrender my will to His, another possibility is on the horizon.

I don’t know what is ahead of me regarding God’s plan.  I do know, though, that it will be the right one for me and I rejoice in whatever it is.  Nineveh always had a negative connotation for me.  No longer!  Nineveh is a place of precious surrender.  I’m letting go of my plan and being caught by God’s hand.  I’m letting God dream for me!

The song is “Dream for You” by Casting Crowns.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8nsJZx8eWw

Getting Off The Judge Roy Scream

Aug. 16, 2014

Kelsey told me yesterday that I needed to write another blog.  “Why?” I asked.  “Because it’s been two months and I like reading it.”  What more motivation do I need?

I’ve struggled lately to write.  My thoughts seem far too jumbled to be able to organize them.  It’s been an emotionally draining summer: the realization that Kelsey’s treatment wasn’t working (and knowing that IV meds are next), helplessly seeing Kelsey’s pain increase, the loss of a dear friend, my last year at church camp (I’ve gone for the last 12 years), carrying through on the decision to change churches (after being at Cedar Hill for 19 years), and a couple other things.  It’s been a lot to say the least.

The one theme that has held through it is the continuing question in my head of “What is different this time around?”  My faith has felt so much stronger even though I felt weaker.  It’s a point that bugged me because I couldn’t understand how that could be when, in the midst of it, I wasn’t really feeding my faith.  I wasn’t reading my bible; I was barely doing my bible study; I stopped reading my “Jesus Calling” devotional.

At camp, one of my favorite times of the day is the very last activity of the day.  We all go to the amphitheater that overlooks the lake and we sing and have a short devotional.  It is the most beautiful spot on the property with trees surrounding you but open sky right above.  And, as you look out, there is the moonlit water with a cross in the foreground.  It’s my constant reminder that God created all of this beauty and He sacrificed His Son for me so that I can enjoy an unimaginable beauty in His presence and one day sing with the angels.  One night, the youth minister, Matt, asked everyone to describe God.  Randomly, yet with such inherent order, a voice would speak out, “Love,” “All powerful,” “Peace,” “My everything,” “All knowing,” “I am,” “Good.”  The responses went on.  It is still so difficult to describe what that moment was for me but it was as if I felt the presence of God so keenly in the moment of those descriptions.  It was like being among the angels praising God.

I thought about writing about it then but I just couldn’t process it well in my head to really understand what it meant.  But today, at Kelsey’s urging to write, I see the puzzle pieces fall together.  This week’s bible study answered my question.  The answer came in a question, “Do you base your faith on what God does or who He is?”  Beth Moore, in our bible study, talked about riding the “roller coaster of faith of being up one day and down the next” if you base your faith on what God does. 

I have to admit that to a large extent my faith has been a roller coaster.  The last big testing of my faith was during the first 2-3 years of Kelsey’s illness.  I never felt in danger of losing my faith but I was certainly angry with God and rode those hills up and down (screaming included).  But this time around with Kelsey’s relapse, with the losses I’ve had, I’ve not felt those hills.  One near and dear to me asked how I got to this point and all I can think is that my focus changed without my conscious effort.  I think that night at camp was so powerful to me in large part because it focused on who God is rather than what He does.  I think consistently seeking God’s hand and presence keeps me focused on His character.  What is true about God has always been true.  He doesn’t change.  So my faith based on Him doesn’t change either.

To end, I will borrow a prayer from Beth Moore,

“God, I can’t understand why You’re doing this.  But I know that, unlike me, Your actions cannot be inconsistent with Your heart, and I know Your heart is loving, good, and faithful.  Somehow, some way, somewhere all these things are for good.  If I could just know You better through this, that is all the good I need.”

Now, a song….just because it’s happy….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0KnCqX7mrI

Early Riser or Riser?

June 12, 2014

In May, the women from the counseling agency where I work went to Pink Impact at Gateway church.  It’s a Christian women’s conference.  There are a lot of things I learned and certainly there were things that impacted me.  One of those moments was when the speaker said she found some Bible verses annoying.  She said it in a way that was funny and I certainly laughed but, inside, I was screaming, “Yes!  Someone else feels the same as me!”  She even referred to the same verse I’ve always found annoying: Prov. 31:15.

“She gets up while it is night;”

The verse is in the middle of the passage most people call the “Proverbs 31 woman.”  It’s a description of the model Godly woman.  So, this particular part about her getting up while it is nighttime gets me because that means she is an early riser….which means she is the polar opposite of me.  I am a firm believer that God made me this way.  I’ve always been a late nighter and a sleep later.  As a kid, I went to bed on time but I would lie in bed and read until midnight or sing myself to sleep.  Getting up before 9:00 in the morning means I absolutely have to set an alarm to wake up that early.  Or, I can easily sleep to about 10:00.  In my younger years, I easily slept until noon or later.  That is just my natural body rhythm.  So, when I first read that you have to be an early riser to be a Godly woman, I thought I was set up for failure.  It was annoying to me.

Never until this conference did I know that “while it is night” is not a reference to chronological time!  It is a reference to dark times, struggles, adversity, etc.  Now that makes more sense to me!  The Proverbs 31 Woman rises when it is darkest; she stands up to face her struggles.  Now that is a woman I can emulate, or at least try to.

My heart is heavy tonight as a dear, dear Proverbs 31 Woman is nearing her time to leave this earth.  My heart is heavy knowing that I already miss her.  She told me not too long ago that she was truly at peace with whatever happened.  I remember thinking that I’m not so at peace because I have a different perspective:  she’s looking into the gates of heaven and I’m looking at life without her.  My selfish side still stands by that response.  But my other side, my more mature side, is, in some ways, jealous of where she’s going.  And, in another way, I am so immensely proud for her that she is reaching a life-long goal.  Her life is to be celebrated.  And God is to be praised because I am so incredibly thankful for the Proverbs 31 Woman who showed me so many things, especially how to get up while it is still night.

One of her favorite songs that we sang so often…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXDGE_lRI0E

Clarifying Life

April 25, 2014

I’ve been watching videos of sermons and TED talks while I am exercising on my recumbent bike.  It is hitting two birds with one stone: I always learn something plus it makes the time go really quickly.  This morning’s TED talk caught my eye because of what I have been teaching in my Human Growth and Development class.  It is a class that covers physical, cognitive, social, and personality development across the lifespan.  Given that it is the end of the semester, we have been learning about late adulthood which, of course, then includes discussion of looking towards death, becoming more relational, and evaluating your life.

So, when I saw a TED talk titled “Before I die I want to…” I was intrigued.  Developmentally, I am in the stage called middle adulthood.  Maybe that is why I am thinking more about my bucket list – that list of all the things I want to do before I die.  The list is growing and I love hearing other people’s ideas so I hit “play” on the video.  It is a great talk and I’ve included a link to it below if you want to take the very few minutes to watch it for yourself.

The statement that most caught my attention and caused me to think was towards the end when she said, “Thinking about death clarifies your life.”  There is a lot packed into those six words.  Thinking about death in a positive way that says, “My time is limited and becoming more and more precious, what am I going to do with it?”  We’ve all heard the saying that we should live our lives as if each day were our first and last.  When looking at things with a sense of wonder and excitement, that works.  When looking at relationships that need to be fixed, or wrongs that need to be righted, that works.  But, practically speaking, if I knew I only had a very short time to live, I would do something incredibly different than what I have planned for today.  I wouldn’t go get my hair cut, I wouldn’t sit out by the pool.  I’d probably jump on a plane to somewhere in Europe or the Mediterranean.

Knowing that our time is limited and more precious is certainly based on the assumption of living an average life span.  It is looking forward to what do I want to do and that is largely based on looking back and evaluating what I have already done.

“Thinking about death clarifies your life” also hit me since we have just celebrated Easter which is about not just the resurrection of our Lord and Savior but also His sacrificial death.  When I think about that death, it absolutely clarifies my life.  When I think about what He went through for me, it absolutely clarifies my life.  When I think about the love that He has for me that motivated Him to take on my sin and become my intercessor, it absolutely clarifies my life.  When I think about the fact that He arose from the grave and He lives, it absolutely clarifies my life.  When I think about how he sent the Holy Spirit to be my counselor, my comforter and that it indwells me, it absolutely clarifies my life.

“For God so loved [Audra] that He gave His only begotten Son”

~ ~ John 3:16 (Audra’s personalized version)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uebxlIrosiM

Hopeful Endurance

April 16, 2014

I’ve been having a lot of migraines lately.  For the last five weeks or so, it seemed they were occurring about once a week.  One was so bad I was throwing up.  For the most part, though, I work through it the best I can.  Last week, someone said to me, “I don’t know how you do it when you have a migraine.”  She was wondering how I keep going, how do I go to work, etc.  That particular day the headache was about a 6/10 on the pain scale.

I told her that I have found that if I just get going in what I need to do, the distraction works to get my mind off the headache.  In thinking about it more, I usually tend to remember a quote from my grandmother, “I’m going to feel bad either way so I may as well get up and do something.”  That’s true a lot of the time.  Granted there are some headaches that put me in bed but most I try to power through on this philosophy.

Later that afternoon, I was driving to campus to teach class and I was remembering the conversation about my headaches.  It dawned on me that there is actually a much bigger motivation – one that I had known but had never really put words to.  Just the night before, in a Bible study with my small group sisters, we were discussing two types of patience in the Bible. 

One type of patience derives from the Greek word makrothumia which means long-suffering, endurance, or perseverance.  It is putting up with things or circumstances.  The other type of patience derives from the Greek word hupomone which also means endurance and perseverance but with an important distinction: it is inspired by hope.  It is looking for a positive outcome or expected end.

I bring this up not to get lost in Greek words (which is what happens to me) but rather highlight what this looks like in action.  When I have a bad headache, I try my best to get up and get going because the distraction is good for me.  But I also get up and get going because I have hope of my headache getting better.  I have hope that if I get moving that maybe my neck will loosen up which will alleviate my headache.  I have hope that the medication will kick in and alleviate my headache.  Hope is my real motivation.

We all have things we struggle with.  Because of what I do professionally, I see people’s struggles all the time.  But why do we struggle?  Why do we keep pushing through?  Because the big picture is not the struggles.  The big picture is the hope of eternal life with my God and my Lord and Savior.  The point of this world is not this world but rather to look toward the positive outcome or expected end.  I am full of hope!

“Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward.  For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.”

~~ Heb. 10:35-36

Feeling Like Jonah

Mar. 18, 2014

“I don’t want to and you can’t make me.”  It’s a short little sentence and I remember it verbatim.  It came from the mouth of my strong-willed, sensitive child some 10 years ago.  I don’t have a clue what it was I had told him to do.  But I remember vividly that we were in my bedroom and he was standing in front of the armoire.  I remember, too, the visual image in my head of seeing smoke shoot out both my ears, much like in the cartoons.  I was so angry that all I could manage to say was “You may have won this battle but tomorrow I will win the war.  Go to your room.”

The next day, I called him to the breakfast table and informed him that we were going to do a Bible study.  We read the book of Jonah together aloud, discussing it as we went.  I don’t remember exactly how long it took but it was around a couple of hours.  At the end, I asked him, “Why did we study this?”  “Because Jonah told God, ‘I don’t want to and you can’t make me,’” he said.  Mission accomplished.  As with all successful missions, you need to write a report on it, so he did.

From time to time, that insolence, I mean independent spirit, would rear its head and all we had to say was, “What did Jonah tell God?” and he got the message.  It was a lesson well learned.  For him.

For the last nine months or so, and for the last two months, I have felt like Jonah in two different areas of my life.  So much so that for the longer one, I am still not prepared to discuss it.  I’m still holding out hope that I am misunderstanding God.  So, I will let this one be.  The other one, for the past couple of months, is a huge stretch for me personally and professionally.  I have thought a lot about whether to write about this because I really don’t want any added pressure or well-meaning kudos. 

When I first started thinking about this, actually it was more like God saying, “You should do this,” it scared me bad.  It is so far outside of my box and fear of failure is screaming at me.  In fact, the first couple of times I talked to select people about it, I cried.  I know what God is telling me but I am telling Him, “I don’t want to and you can’t make me.”  As coincidences go (there are no such things as coincidences), Kelsey sent me a video of Sophie, our dog, getting in trouble for getting into the bathroom trash.  She is so pitiful and it is funny from that standpoint.  But as I heard Tim commanding her to “Come here” and then saw him gently drag her passive resistant body to the trash can, I thought, “That’s me and God right now.”

I have prayed a lot about all of this.  Surprisingly, my prayers have not been me trying to talk God out of it.  No, rather I have been asking for equipping, peace, and excitement.  Lord knows (and He truly does!), that I can’t do this well without being excited about it.

The truth is that in the last week I have been feeling just a bit excited about it.  The video is more accurate for me a week ago.  Now, as I am writing this and analyzing it more for myself, I am realizing something else too.  When I told someone near and dear to me that I was feeling like Jonah, she asked, “So what’s your Ninevah?”  I told her and she encouraged me in it.  In thinking about it more now, I am not sure if my Ninevah is this “project” or a fear of failure.  I am not used to feeling that fear.  I don’t think I have ever really stepped out to try something that I didn't first feel reasonably assured that I would succeed.  Ever since I completed my internship, I've been praying for a new long term goal/challenge.  Maybe this is it.

God is working and I am okay with it.

Keep on Keepin’ On

Feb. 26, 2014

I’ve noticed a shift in my mantra lately.  For the last 3-4 years, it has been “Into your hands, O Lord.”  It has been my little prayer when I worry or have been stressed.  When Kelsey would pass out, “Into your hands, O Lord” was always in my mind.  When Aron got his motorcycle and he would pull out of the driveway, revving his engine (the one on his bike and the one inside him) all the way, “Into your hands, O Lord” invariably came out of me.

I had to use it much less in the last 6 months.  My stress level has been so much lower and I am so thankful!  But in the last couple of months, we have seen a bit of a relapse occurring with Kelsey.  Symptoms are returning.  We have been to the doctor twice in the last eight weeks and I talked to the doctor on the phone today in order to speed up treatment.  I am concerned about the decline we are seeing.

But I am in a different place this time.  I know that we will never get back to a place that was as bad as it was before with Kelsey.  We will always catch her symptoms early.  Now that we know the name of the monster, we can see it and fight it so much better.  So, my mantra doesn’t feel appropriate anymore.  As I was thinking about all of this about a week ago, I couldn’t quite put my finger on what my new mantra should be until I heard a song at just that moment…..because that is how God works.

And so, as I was driving home tonight after my Bible study sisters small group, I was thinking about what I should write about and guess what song comes on…. Yup, because that is how God works.  This mantra is for me but it is also for my sisters who are struggling too: one who is recovering from surgery, one who is battling cancer, one who is hurting so deeply, one who’s father-in-law is in his last days, one whose son is in constant pain, and one whose father has persistent medical problems and a difficult mother who adds to the problems.

I can only assume the song’s inspiration comes from Phil. 3:13-14,

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
 I press on toward the goal
 to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

The song lyric is “Doesn’t matter where I’m going if I’m going with You; I press on, I press on, I press on.”

Yes, “I press on.”                            

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQsRKCH59qw

His Presence is His Present

Written Feb. 4, 2014

Published 2/18/14

Today is a gift.  That is something I have especially learned in the last 3 ½, well nearing on 4, years.  Through Kelsey’s illness, it was sometimes so very difficult not to think about tomorrow.  What would the future look like?  Will she better?  Or worse?  This was especially true before we got the Lyme disease diagnosis.  Uncertainty loomed large.

Somehow, I, the one who likes to plan ahead and set my plans in stone, learned to live more in the moment and leave those uncertainties to God.  This work started early in our marriage because Tim worked in network support.  So many times our plans changed due to last minute support calls.  I think it is one of those times where God started working on me preparing me for the future.  So, with Kelsey’s illness, there rarely seemed to ever be firm plans that weren’t in any way dependent on how she felt.  In retrospect, I see that when I got mired in the uncertainties of the future when I got depressed.  But now I see an interesting irony.  When I focused on the uncertainties of the future, I felt hopeless and lonely.  However, now when I look back at the times when I felt stronger, it was often because I was letting God handle the uncertainties.  It was then that I felt hope.  I was hopeful because if there are uncertainties and I have given them to God then I know that He has plenty of room to work.  Uncertainties provide possibilities.

So I have learned to know what I have today.  Of course, I am human and incredibly fallible and I have had my moments of worry over the last month.  Kelsey is struggling a bit more with fatigue and some other minor symptoms.  Lyme disease doesn’t go away.  It is something that will always be in Kelsey’s and our lives.  And so, as we are actively planning college for her, we are having to keep in mind what she is capable of today and make no assumptions of it being in any different in the future.  It is part of accepting life as it is.

God promises us today.  The future he promises is not tomorrow or the day after; rather it is eternal life with Him in heaven.  Just as He provided manna and quail on a daily basis, He provides daily for me.  I feast with joy in his daily provision.  Because His loving presence is my strength and comfort and protection, I have hope in the uncertainties of life.

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.  My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

~ ~ Ps. 28:7

Now and Then … or … Before and After

Feb. 11, 2014

I always listen to music in the mornings in the bathroom as I am getting ready for the day.  I am not a morning person so the music helps get me going.  It energizes me.  This morning, a familiar song came on that I just love because it always reminds me of how far I have come.

As a kid and a teenager, I was quite different from who I am now.  I look back and it’s almost like I was a completely different person.  Sexual abuse kills a part of your soul.  It kills that part that says “I have value” or “I am enough” and replaces it with “I’m damaged goods” and “I am broken.”  And so what that looked like in my life was a lot of introversion, and a whole lot of seething anger (and sometimes outright boiling anger).  I didn’t do well in new or unfamiliar settings.  I say I lost my faith but I really doubt that I ever had a personal relationship with God.  So how could I lose what I never had?  I remember when I was thirteen I was washing the dinner dishes with my mom and I told her that I would probably live with someone before I married him and that she shouldn’t expect grandkids from me.  It wasn’t a stellar moment.  I did things that messed up girls do.

I have very few friendships from that time.  I have not maintained any relationships from high school or my young twenties.  I wonder now if they would even recognize me.  I can only imagine the looks on their faces if I told them that I have kids and am a Christian.  Or, even better, that I am a counselor working in a church-based counseling center and I teach at a Baptist university.  Ha!

I’m not who I was.  I ended up with a fabulous counselor, George, who took me down the journey towards healing.  He taught me how to love myself.  He led me to forgiveness of myself and my grandfather.  I had a family who stood behind me every step of the way and who even propped me up when I couldn’t stand on my own.  I had a preacher/friend who led me to forgiveness of my grandmother and who committed to a weekly Bible study with Tim and me for a year and was instrumental in my decision to follow Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  I have a husband who models unconditional and sacrificial love to me every second of every day.

I call out these people not to give them the credit.  Rather, I want to point out just some of the people God used in my life to bring about healing.  I know it is God because only God can do a work like that.  I don’t know if my healing process will ever be complete.  How could it be?  I am human.  But I am amazed when I look back at how my life has changed.

I am not who I was and it is only by God’s amazing grace.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1ZgtCRO-KY

I Love You More!

Feb. 8, 2014

At a Christian concert last night during set/instrument changes when the auditorium was all black with no lights, I heard from somewhere behind me,

“I love you!”

Someone on stage bellowed back, “I love you more!”

In that instant, I thought, “That’s us, when we are telling God we love him.”

I know that flashed through my mind because of a conversation I had this past week with someone near and dear to me.  She told me as she was driving to visit her dad in the hospital she was thinking that she loves him so much!  And then fear came over her as she thought, “I don’t think I love God more than my dad.”  I think it was a fear of doubt in her faith that her priorities were out of whack.  After all, we are taught all our Christian lives that we are to love nothing more than God.

But then the Holy Spirit spoke to her and gave her the message that it’s okay; God knows that she loves Him and that she will never be able to love Him as much as He loves her.

In reflecting on her story over the last couple of days, I realize that it strikes a chord with me because I have often marveled at how willingly Abraham brought his son to sacrifice on the altar.  I know deep down that I simply don’t have that level of faith in me.  I couldn’t bring my child to that point.  In its strictest sense, it is a point that shows that my faith is weaker than Abraham’s and if I dwelled on that for too long, I always ended up with thinking that God must be saddened by this flaw in me.  Until now, though, I never saw God’s grace in this.

After hearing her story, I said, “It must have been such a peaceful feeling that came over you.”  After all, isn’t the result of grace peace?

Here is a song from the concert.  I love the chorus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qst5GAxBwf8

 

Beautiful Migraine Day

January 15, 2014

Yesterday, I had a bad migraine.  I woke up with it but often with a hot shower and just getting up and moving it gets better.  Not so this time.  I'm teaching a mini-mester class this week so I went to class and started lecturing.  After one chapter, I stopped to take my prescription medication because it was getting much worse and the nausea was starting.  After teaching the next chapter, I knew I had to get home while I could still drive.  The medicine, which never makes me loopy, did this time.  Plus, I was just feeling so bad.  So I quit class at 10:30 and drove home with the help of Lettia talking to me on the phone.

I got home and went straight to bed.  I slept in between bouts of vomiting.  By 3:00, my body could no longer lie in bed so I got up and stationed myself in my recliner for the rest of the day.  By nightfall, I was feeling better. Kelsey brought me a large coke Icee and sometimes that does just as much or more for my migraines as prescription narcotic medication.  Just a helpful tip for my fellow migraine sufferers!

Anyway, I tell you all of this not in an effort to get any sympathy but rather to tell you of how my day ended.  I was piddling around on my iPad and ended up on Pinterest.  I never look at the video category but last night I did. The name Jamie Grace popped out at me for a couple of reasons.  One, I really like her style of music and used one of her songs in my last blog post.  Two, we (my sisters and I) had just talked about her on our trip last weekend.

So I watched the video. It is about today being a beautiful day.  I thought, "It really is!  Even with a retching migraine, it is a beautiful day!"  Don't get me wrong, I had thought last night that I was glad the day was over.  Even in that, though, I was blessed to know that my migraines rarely go for more than one day.  I am thankful for that.  I am thankful for Icees and medications that help reduce the pain.  I am thankful for a son who understands when I come home early and he says, "You’re home early," and I reply with, "I'm going to bed."  I am thankful for a class who asked to pray for me before I left.  I am thankful for a friend who took half an hour out of her work day to talk about anything at all to help me stay focused and awake on the road home.

More than anything, I am thankful for a God who loves me no matter what.  I am thankful for a God who owns me twice over: He created me and He bought me.  He loves me so much that He sent a little reminder through a video so that I could be thankful for His blessings ... even in the midst of a migraine day.

I hope you find as much joy as I did in the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPy0ctqMwE0