Him Who Strengthens Me

Feb. 26, 2013

Last week, I went to my fourth Christian Counselors of Texas conference.  This year it was held in San Antonio.  With the exception of my grandmother’s funeral (which I had forgotten until just now), it was the first time I’d been in San Antonio in about thirty years.  I have bad associations with that city connected to my childhood so I seriously have no desire to go there, ever.  But with the conference being there, I wanted to go and surely it’s past time to get over this avoidance.  Besides, after thirty years, what can be familiar?

A street name, that’s what.  As I was driving, I noticed an exit for Thousand Oaks Drive and I had a moment of internal panic, muttered, “Oh God, Thousand Oaks Drive,” and before I knew it I had changed three lanes to the left.  I guess it was an instinctual avoidance much like when someone yells, “Snake!” and you jump to the side before you even think about it.  I quickly recovered, especially since I was being directed to move to the right so I could make my exit for the hotel.  Looking back on it, I can’t help but chuckle at the ridiculousness of my reaction.

Regarding the conference, I have to admit that it took me a couple of years to warm up to the organization.  The first year I went to the conference, I went alone and that just doesn’t work well for me.  But the following years, I went with Sharon who always introduced to me people, plus having a roommate is a great thing!  Now, I really love this organization.  It is a great group of people who want to build relationships, who encourage you, and who push you to do more than you think you can.  For example, I am now Secretary-Elect on the Executive Committee.  Who would have ever thought that of me?  Surely, not me.  I’m stretching.  I’m doing it.  And, best of all, I’m really enjoying it.

This year’s conference, for me, is summed up in one statement.  Someone had come to the board meeting and expressed her discouragement.  The board members took the time to fully listen to her and then they ministered to her.  At the end of it, she said, “Only in this group can you walk in feeling like a total failure and walk out feeling totally encouraged.”  That is the true beauty and value of this organization.

That encouragement can only come from God working in the lives of everyone there.  The healing that I’ve had that allows me to see the humor in my moment of panic can only come from God.  The confidence that I have to stretch in ways I never would have before comes from knowing that my self-worth comes only from my identity in Christ.

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

~ ~ Phil. 4:13

Forests and Trees

Feb. 20, 2013
 

Every day for work, I drive the same way.  Along the way is the new high school that is being built.  I still enjoy watching construction which is a kickback from my old engineering design/drafting days.  So, I’ve been watching the building go up.  In awe, I watched the massive amount of ground work which always impresses me most because it seems it would be so hard to measure ground accurately and move dirt around in ways to match the plans I used to draw.  Then I watched the steel work go up.
 

 

 Then, last week, on my same drive that I make every work day, I saw the other building.  There was another whole building steel frame going up that I had missed!  How???  I instantly thought, “Wow, I missed the forest for the tree.”  And then I wondered, “How often do I do that?” 
 

 

 Far too often, I focus on the details or only certain aspects of things and I miss the bigger perspective or the bigger lesson to be learned.  God works through details but only for the bigger picture to be seen.  Jesus came to save but he proved his divinity through his miracles.  If we get stuck on only the miracles, we are left with questions such as, “If Jesus can heal, why not heal everyone?” or “If God can, with one little effort, blot out pain and suffering, why doesn’t he?”  Lately, I’m left a bit flat with the answer that Jesus came to save, not to heal.  I know that is the truth.  I know that is the bigger picture.  It’s the forest.  But the mighty sequoia deserves some individual attention too.
 

How do you reconcile an image of God standing back and just watching while suffering and pain continues?  How does He stand back when He could rescue all of us?  And then, after standing back, He wants ME to reach out to Him?  They are questions I’ve chewed on as of late.  They are the trees that narrow our view of the forest.

Ultimately, the only answer I know is that we have to always go back to scripture, the Word of God, to know God’s character and to test whether that character lines up with what we are feeling or thinking about God.  Does God stand back and watch us suffer in a detached, dare I say, even sadistic, way or does He stay as close as He can, hurting with us along the way, and long for us to reach out to Him?  From scripture, I know God is all love so I have to land on the latter part of the question.  Love isn’t sadistic.  It isn’t detached.  It isn’t uncaring.
 

Perhaps the best answer still falls on having that fearless trust so beautifully described in Ps. 27:13-14.
 

“I remain confident of this:  I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”